


a blue that's almost navy

by windyday



Category: SHINee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 05:29:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8000299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windyday/pseuds/windyday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Just be happy tonight, okay? Hate yourself tomorrow if you're gonna hate yourself.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	a blue that's almost navy

**Author's Note:**

> kind of sister to my other one. i've always wanted to do a "based on real fandom event" kind of self indulgent thing. au where onew went home early?

      'Lets drink when we get home!!!!'

      'are u not already drunk?'

      'yea but you definitely arent!!!!!! jinki!!!!!!!!!'

     'leader 2 u ^^'

     Jinki turned his phone off and closed his eyes, letting his head fall against the headrest. Apparently he'd sighed too because their manager turned off the music, their own music, gently playing in the car.

     “Hey, it's okay. It was great you were great. Nobody's upset with you.”

     This time he knew he was sighing. “Sorry, I'm being a baby. I just.” He didn't need to finish. They both knew everything he was thinking and feeling.

     “Just be happy tonight, okay? Hate yourself tomorrow if you're gonna hate yourself.”

 

* * *

 

     Luckily, Jinki was instructed to rest and keep of his feet, and he was glad for the excuse to indulge in his crappy mood, at least until everyone else got home. He didn't bother going to bed because he knew Taemin would never give up on making sure he witnessed Jinki having fun, so he just sat on the couch and … sat on the couch. It was his night to be happy after all, so he decided not to deal with anything that would make him anxious or upset.

     Eventually, he heard the wonderful yelling and stumbling throughthe door of life and put on his best grin. Kicking their shoes off, the other members rushed toward him while their managers took bags of food to the kitchen.

     “We brought you food!” Minho looked happier than anyone had ever looked and it really did lift Jinki's spirits, making his grin genuine.

     “There's food from the restaurant but we stopped and got snacks and booze too. So many carbs, I'm so excited,” Kibum dragged Taemin with him to get them all set up.

     Minho and Jonghyun moved to sit on other side of Jinki, linking their arms with his and lovingly squishing him between them . Jonghyun squeezed his arm comfortingly, thankfully saying nothing kind or reassuring. He knew Jinki didn't need that, he just needed to cheer up and for his boys to be happy. “And a bunch of other stuff. First aid and painkillers. Minho tried to find a racy magazine but to no avail! Time's have changed, Lee. There's nothing we can do.”

     Jinki and Minho both made fun of him for saying “racy” as the other two returned with trays of food. Their managers both decided that this was a moment between SHINee and left them alone to go to sleep. Taemin, still on his mission, handed Jinki a beer and a bag of chips. “Start with this and then we'll do some shots. We've sobered up a bit but you still have to catch up.”

     The boys talked and smiled and laughed and even cried a little (a lot) discussing all their hard work over the past few days, but more than that, the years. They were settling down a bit, Jonghyun shifting into a migraine and trying to keep it together because he wasn't done blubbering all over Kibum and Minho, and Kibum also blubbering, but pretending he wasn't. Minho had moved on to responsibly drinking water and emphasizing the snacks and Taemin pulled out his phone.

     'hey,' Jinki's phone lit up. He grabbed it and replied discreetly because Taemin was focusing on Jonghyun trying to describe every fan he made eye contact with and the emotions they shared in that single glance.

     'hey. is everything ok'

     “She was a mom, I think, and she was on the floor and holding her daughter, probably's, head and they were both crying and I just, I just want to tell them thank you, I just can't-”

     'yeah im good. Lets talk after when everyones gone to sleep'

     '????'

     'dnt worry imgood!!!!!!!'

     “I think I saw her too! The girl had a really old lightstick! From like 3 years ago!”

     “I love them all so much you guys. We're so fucking lucky you guys,” This time Minho joined them in their drunk wailing. Watching them cry (except Taemin, who of course was laughing at them), Jinki loved them all so much too.

 

* * *

 

     It was after. After they all went to bed, including Taemin and Jinki, following Taemin's weird eyebrow signals, and Jinki was lying in bed wondering if he'd forgotten. Just as he was deciding to just go to sleep, his phone lit up once more.

     Tonight, his phone felt a little magical. He was in a weird mood so he felt like Taemin was inviting him on an adventure. Without even reading it, he quietly got out of bed and limped over to the living room. He stood in the middle of the room appreciating the stillness of the dorm until Taemin appeared, moving toward him.

     “Hey,” Jinki felt like they had to whisper even though nobody would wake up from them talking normally. Taemin took his wrist and led him over to the window. Jinki wanted to ask but he had learned not to with Taemin long ago. He moved a lot faster through his thoughts and intentions than it would take to explain them, or even know what he was doing.

     It turned out that Taemin was just shy and wanted to get as far away as possible from everyone else, or so Jinki figured, when Taemin pulled him closer, close enough for him to feel Taemin's shaky breath on his eyelashes, and kissed him softly. He pulled away slowly and looked past Jinki, blinking much more than his body required. That's what was so cute about Taemin, that he could do something so bold but still be so obviously nervous about it. Jinki wondered if Taemin thought he was being in character too.

     “What was that?” Jinki smiled and took Taemin's wrist that wasn't holding onto his own in case he decided to run away.

     “Why are you so calm?” Taemin didn't seem upset, just genuinely curious.

     “I'm a very good leader,” Jinki joked. “I thought you wanted to talk, not canoodle.”

     “Gross. I couldn't figure out what to say.”

     Taemin was really way too cute. Jinki started to wonder if this had been a confession, what his answer would be. He quickly hugged Taemin to his chest. “Was that a confession?”

     Taemin sighed against him. “I guess so. I wanted it to be different.”

     “I think it was pretty good, myself. Can I ask why? Or, why now, I mean? I assume why at all because you mean it, unless you're trying to trick me, in which case we should talk about that instead, I guess.”

     Taemin wiggled out of his grasp with an “ew.” Jinki was definitely being in character. “I wanted to a while ago but I didn't want to stress you out for the shows. I figured right after would give you enough time to deal with it before comeback. And just seeing you, being with you tonight, I felt like...”

      Jinki smiled. “A week?”

     Taemin was blushing very badly at this point. “I couldn't wait.”

     “That's very kind of you. And mature!” Jinki pulled Taemin to the couch so they could sit and maybe Taemin could stop looking like he was trying to find possible exits in his peripheral. 

     “I'm not nine, Jinki,” despite his words, Taemin was led easily and sat facing Jinki. “Don't treat me like a kid, that is definitely not how I wanted this to go.”

     “No, I don't mean it like that at all. I'm sorry,” Jinki let go of Taemin's wrist and took his hand instead, gently massaging it. Taemin looked like he was about to lose his mind. Cutecutecute. Had he always been this cute? “I just... I like to know that you feel this way, I guess. I'm a little shocked. But it's making me happy.”

     Taemin lost his mind a little. It looked like he was rebooting and Jinki patiently waited for his eyes to pop back in his head and for him to start breathing again.

     “Jinki...”

     Taemin took a deep breath and his blinking started up again.

     “How do you feel? Should I get over you?”

     Jinki wished he could stop time and have a good day and a half to make some charts or have a dramatic trip to stare into the ocean. But he didn't, he had a few seconds to tell Taemin, _Taemin_ , _TAEMIN,_ if his romantic feelings (ROMANTIC FEELINGS???) were reciprocated. He was right in thinking there was something magical that night. It definitely was not real, there was no way. He wanted to keep feeling this excited, this disjointed. 

     He spoke as slowly as it seemed possible to speak. “I … don't.. I don't think you should... just yet.”

     Taemin stilled, waiting, forcing himself not to leave any room for misunderstanding.

     “I think we have a lot more to talk about, Taem... but..” Jinki shifted closer without realizing, “for now, could we...?”

     This time it was not a confession, it was an invitation. Taemin's kiss was a soft and slow appeal and Jinki was really coming around to his request.

     It was weird, it was really really weird. It was Taemin. Taemin and Jinki the youngest and oldest of idol group SHINee. It was totally surreal, it should not have happened should not be able to happen in this universe. But strangest of all, Jinki felt pretty perfect with his hands on Taemin's hips and his mouth on his mouth. His ankle hurt because sitting sideways on the couch was definitely not keeping it elevated and on ice in bed and he was so tired and started to feel a headache creeping up on him but this wild new frontier of Taemin was making all that discomfort just white noise.

     They just kept kissing and Jinki just kept thinking about how bizarre it was that this was happening at all but that was kind of part of the experience. His bewilderment at him having an intimate encounter with his bandmate, someone he's seen almost every day for about a hundred years, that he's known since they were both basically babies, especially Taemin, it was a bit great. What led to this moment? Had Taemin been thinking about it all night? For how long? Jinki shuddered at the thought of being an object of such affection, the subject of such a huge secret, someone attractive to someone like this. He figured this must be his subconscious fetish he finally got to uncover; really surreal makeout sessions with someone you probably shouldn't be making out with. 

     It was amazing that the dorm was still quiet, that the world hadn't totally shifted or broken in some way. It wasn't like what they were doing was the greatest time either had had, but just the oddness of it all was so mindblowing and thrilling, at least to Jinki, that something outside of them should've been happening. But nothing was, nothing at all. Were they going to talk about this for real? Were they going to regret it and pack it away or go the other way and try date? What if they got married? He totally loved Taemin, after all, with everything he had, but was it that kind of love? They could get kicked out. What if Taemin never talked to him again? What if Jinki slipped his hands under Taemin's t-shirt and felt the warmth of his skin and his bones and pulled him close enough to stop his exhilarating inner monologue? Would he kiss and bite down his body and jerk him off through his underwear right there on the couch? What if they fucked? Jinki realized a lot about himself and what he wanted in that moment. This was so weird. 

     They wouldn't fuck though. They were both running out of steam, were so exhausted and had to get up to practice in just a matter of hours. Their kisses got slower and their grips on each others arms and chests got looser until they gave up on kissing at all and Taemin was just kind of rubbing his face on Jinki's jaw. Still so cute.

     “Taem.”

     With his name he held his breath. Jinki could tell he was wondering if it was all going to fall apart so he took Taemin's hands and threaded their fingers together.

     “Taem, we should go to sleep. Don't want you to wake up tomorrow regretting anything,” Jinki laughed at his own lack of subtlety and pulled them both up, wobbling a bit due to his ankle.

     Taemin seemed to snap out of his daze or tiredness or worry or whatever it may be and walked Jinki to his door like they were on a high school date. Taemin kissed him on the cheek and whispered, “I won't regret a single thing,” and headed off to his own bed.

     Jinki had never had anything more cheesy and ridiculous happen to him in his entire life. It was absolutely the best. Gingerly positioning himself in bed, he decided to shelf that self loathing thing for another day or two. Not until things started being real again. 

 

 

 


End file.
